The other night I was watching an adorable 90's movie, You've Got Mail. While I was soaking up the cuteness of it, something the main character said caught my attention. The words of the petite blond children's book store owner were this:
"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?"
What she said reminded me a lot of myself. Don't get me wrong; I absolutely love my life and everybody in it but I've realized that I could be living, well, bigger. I go about my daily routine without ever really expecting anything extraordinary to happen, just being my happy-go-lucky self, trying my best to show everyone kindness, but naturally messing up along the way. I tell myself I want to make a mark on the world but I never truly put much effort in and I don't really know what kind of mark I want to make. Luckily, I'm still very young and have time to figure it out but in the mean time, I'd like to start living bigger. Hopefully I will live to an old age, but it could be any day that the Lord could take me home and I don't want to waste any time living in my comfort zone.
So much of what we do seems to come back to a single, worldly goal: to impress others. With social media sites out the wazoo, we often spend so much time trying to make our life look awesome from the outside and so little time actually living. I admit that I do this myself and I don't post this to point fingers, but instead as a commitment to drop this habit of mine. Of course, it's great to capture fun, happy, and important moments and share them with friends, but that shouldn't distract us from truly living. We should get out and enjoy things, places, and people because we want to...not because it'll make our lives look more exciting to others!
So with my senior year on the way, college around the corner, and the start of life on my own in sight, this lesson has really shaken my brain. I've realized that I don't want to do things just to get good pictures out of it. I don't want to go somewhere just for the glamour of it. I don't wanna go a certain direction in life just to impress those around me. I want to go somewhere to experience, to feel, to grow, to challenge myself, to find myself, and to get the most out of my short life on earth. If I can get that staying right in the place I am then that's what I'll do, but if I feel called to step out of my comfort zone and break free from the security and familiarity of my home town then I'll pray for bravery to do that and for guidance to go where I'm supposed to go.
As for short term ways to live a bigger, more fulfilling life here are things I hope to do:
- stop being so shy and meet new people...learn stories, hear testimonies, establish relationships, share my own thoughts
- try new things...food, activities, outfits...anything to change it up!
- travel whenever I get the chance, whether I need a passport or only a full tank of gas and some chex mix...travelling is good for the soul.
- remind those I love how grateful I am for them and why I love them.
- read more books...also good for the soul.
- step away from technology every now and then
How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:14-15
