Silence

...can be scary. Terrifying actually. When nothing else is calling for our attention, we are forced to face ourselves. When the TV is turned off, the computer shut down, and the social networks put aside we have nothing to distract us from our own thoughts. And for that reason we often stay up late into the night watching or reading or scrolling or posting and check our phone first thing when we wake up. This is especially true when something heart-breaking or tragic is going on in our lives, because we will do anything to keep that thing from occupying our mind. While sometimes it's nice to have things that keep us from thinking too much, putting all of the distractions aside and facing your problems, sins, and emotions is crucial to a healthy heart and life.

First off I want to clarify something. Nothing I post is to brag or to say "I have mastered this lesson so now you should too." Usually everything I post is something I constantly struggle with and I use this blog to be held accountable and to let others know that they aren't alone in their struggles.

This is something I've felt convicted of for a long time but didn't want to come to terms with until just recently. I get so wrapped up in making sure I'm constantly doing something in order to keep my mind off of my problems or my weaknesses. 

Social networks are probably the biggest factor in this problem. With Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and now Vine in the picture, I could scroll and scroll for hours. This scrolling often leads to comparison. Thoughts such as "why can't I go on vacations like that?" and "why does their night look so much more fun than mine?" and "how does their hair always look flawless?" begin to consume my mind and all of the sudden I'm spending so much time looking at things that make me feel low about myself instead of soaking up God's word and hearing His thoughts about me.

God never wants us to think someone else is better than us or more loved than us. He gets oh so jealous when we choose to spend our time comparing our lives to others and believing the lies the world and the enemy are trying to tell us. He doesn't want that for us. He longs for us to sit down and devote time to Him. He wants us to allow His thoughts on us to define our lives. He wants to shower us in blessings and to see us be who He created us to be. It's silly to sit and spend time comparing our lives to what we see on social networks anyway. People only post the highlights of their lives but we compare every part of our lives to what we see. Spending time doing this will only result in disappointment and self-pity. But spending time talking to God and reading about His goodness will renew our hope and fill us with joy. The more time we spend hangin out with Our Father, the closer we'll get to Him, just like a relationship with an earthly father (but better, of course). The more time we spend in intimate conversation with our bridegroom, the more we will fall in love with Him, just like a relationship with an earthly groom (but also much better).

A lack of quiet time hinders us from acheiving our full spiritual potential and from developing an intimate, whole-hearted relationship with Our King. My prayer is that this week you will put down the technology, shut off the TV, and cut out some time to spend with Jesus. I promise you will not regret it!

After sending the people away, he went up a hill by himself to pray. When evening came, Jesus was there alone. Matthew 14:23

At that time Jesus went up a hill to pray and spent the whole night there praying to God. Luke 6:12

(even Jesus knew he needed his quiet time)

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Matthew 5:6

Picture I took while having my quiet time outside the other day. Just a tiny glimpse of God's beauty :)

A Small Life

Good evening! Hope everyone is doing well. It's been far too long since I've blogged and I wish I had a valid excuse but all I have to blame for my lack of blogging is homework and laziness. Anyway, I've had a recent revelation that I thought I would share with you all.

The other night I was watching an adorable 90's movie, You've Got Mail. While I was soaking up the cuteness of it, something the main character said caught my attention. The words of the petite blond children's book store owner were this:

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?"

What she said reminded me a lot of myself. Don't get me wrong; I absolutely love my life and everybody in it but I've realized that I could be living, well, bigger. I go about my daily routine without ever really expecting anything extraordinary to happen, just being my happy-go-lucky self, trying my best to show everyone kindness, but naturally messing up along the way. I tell myself I want to make a mark on the world but I never truly put much effort in and I don't really know what kind of mark I want to make. Luckily, I'm still very young and have time to figure it out but in the mean time, I'd like to start living bigger. Hopefully I will live to an old age, but it could be any day that the Lord could take me home and I don't want to waste any time living in my comfort zone.

So much of what we do seems to come back to a single, worldly goal: to impress others. With social media sites out the wazoo, we often spend so much time trying to make our life look awesome from the outside and so little time actually living. I admit that I do this myself and I don't post this to point fingers, but instead as a commitment to drop this habit of mine. Of course, it's great to capture fun, happy, and important moments and share them with friends, but that shouldn't distract us from truly living. We should get out and enjoy things, places, and people because we want to...not because it'll make our lives look more exciting to others!

So with my senior year on the way, college around the corner, and the start of life on my own in sight, this lesson has really shaken my brain. I've realized that I don't want to do things just to get good pictures out of it. I don't want to go somewhere just for the glamour of it. I don't wanna go a certain direction in life just to impress those around me. I want to go somewhere to experience, to feel, to grow, to challenge myself, to find myself, and to get the most out of my short life on earth. If I can get that staying right in the place I am then that's what I'll do, but if I feel called to step out of my comfort zone and break free from the security and familiarity of my home town then I'll pray for bravery to do that and for guidance to go where I'm supposed to go.

As for short term ways to live a bigger, more fulfilling life here are things I hope to do:

• stop being so shy and meet new people...learn stories, hear testimonies, establish relationships, share my own thoughts
• try new things...food, activities, outfits...anything to change it up!
• travel whenever I get the chance, whether I need a passport or only a full tank of gas and some chex mix...travelling is good for the soul.
• remind those I love how grateful I am for them and why I love them.
• read more books...also good for the soul.
• step away from technology every now and then

Thank you for reading, God bless you....now turn off your phone/laptop and go live :)

How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:14-15

"Chosen Bride"

Good evening! If any of you follow me on instagram you saw my post of the short version of this poem last night, but here is the extended, edited version! It's just an outpouring of my heart and a reflection of all God has done for me...and it just so happens to rhyme. Enjoy and have a blessed evening :)

I've got so much more to learn
And so much more to do
But tonight I'm simply grateful
My heart belongs to You.

My heart was worn and weary
Before I let you in.
I'll never forget that precious night
When it would all begin.

All glory and honor belongs to You
Who opened up my eyes.
I am no more a prisoner
to this earth and all its lies.

No longer am I defined
by the mirror or others' thoughts.
Although I pushed and pushed you out,
it was me You persistently sought.

Now that I'm captivated
and have surrendered to You my soul,
in Your greater plan, Oh God,
I'd be honored to play a role.

I've come to learn that life with You
outweighs all other paths.
So away from sin I will run
and towards Your love so vast.

I fail You and I cave in
To the temptations of this earth.
I get wrapped up in past mistakes
I forget all that I'm worth.

But your mercy never changes.
Your love remains Divine.
There's nothing I would rather be,
Sweet Jesus, than your chosen bride.

The rough draft

Here & Now

Good evening! Hope everybody had a fantastic easter and is doing well! Tonight I had a realization/epiphany/reality check/convicting moment that I just had to share so I'm going to cut to the chase right away.

This year has contained so many blessings and so many defining moments and answered prayers and lessons learned and divine opportunities, yet I don't express my gratefulness nearly enough. In fact, for the past few weeks I've been wishing my time away. I've never been much of a patient person, but lately I seem to be struggling more than usual to refrain from rushing through life. At least once a day I find myself saying "I can't wait till summer...or for college...or to get married...or to discover what my career is..."(the list goes on for ages). While that is an average thing for an average high school student to do (wish they were anywhere but high school), I'd rather not be average. Not that I think I'm better than other high school students in any way, just that the average high school student doesn't live like they know the love of Christ because, well, they don't.

So instead of wishing I could just be out of high school where there seems to be a lack of Christ, I should make it my mission to bring Christ into it! I should use my time in high school to seize any opportunity to share what the Lord has done for me with as many lost souls as I can...because I was once one of them. I should team up with all the Christ-lovers around me to reach out to those who don't know about God's love or feel unworthy of it. How selfish is it of me to practically say "okay my first two years of high school I didn't really know God and it sucked, but now that I do I just wanna get out of here. I'll catch all you other lost souls later!" Sounds harsh, but hey conviction ain't always pretty!

In a wonderful book I am currently reading called Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick, he addresses this whole "rushing through everyday" thing in a chapter called "Ignite the Ordinary." He talks about how God seems to take ordinary people, situations, circumstances, etc., and make them extraordinary. (I am just going to attach a picture of my favorite page from the chapter because his words are a lot more powerful than mine.) Sitting in classrooms all day seems more than ordinary and often seems like one of the least likely places for a divine occurrance to take place. But simply being kind to someone for no reason or maybe just leaving a note with a verse on it on your desk for the next student could make a huge impact. If you feel God compelling you to do something, even if it's a tiny tiny act or even if it might be uncomfortable, be bold and do it because He will most likely make something extraordinary out of it!

So here's my challenges for this week and the rest of life with Christ:

• don't wish away time, but instead seek to glorify God here & now
• look at school or work or any ordinary place with ordinary people as a mission field. People don't have to be starving or poor or far away to need to be shown the love of Jesus.
• don't wait for God to speak to you in some big, extravagant way. Be on the lookout for little clues and subtle opportunities.
• Show how grateful you are for all He has done for you by living to serve Him and His people.
• don't be selfish :)

Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:6

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Matthew 6:33

The page from Sun Stand Still. (hope this doesn't violate copywright issues)

Why?

Good evening lovelies. So sorry for not posting in a while! I try to only post when I feel God has put something on my heart that He wants me to share with others and honestly until this week, I hadn't really heard anything from Him. Well if I'm being completely real with y'all I have struggled with devoting time to God everyday and making Him priority over school and friends and numerous other things. This week I've gotten more on track and would like to share some things I've learned through devotionals, prayer, church, etc.

Hurt. Worry. Loss. Confusion. Pain. Sorrow. All present emotions in my town and in my school and in my friends lately. For reasons only the good Lord knows, there have been many tragedies in the past 2 weeks that have left the people around me hurt and confused. Why is our world so broken? Why do these horrible things happen to such good people? What am I supposed to do to comfort those hurting? One of my biggest questions that I just haven't been able to comprehend lately is this....If God knew at the beginning of time how corrupt and chaotic and broken our world would become, why did He even bother creating it? I know God didn't create evil, but why did He create the world if He knew evil would enter it and tempt His children from the beginning?

While searching for an answer, here are the main points I gathered...

• God knew how corrupt our world would become. He knew how many people would completely reject Him and go their own ways. He knew how many people would claim to be Christians but wouldn't put forth the effort to really get to know Him and develop a relationship with Him. He knew how each of His children would slip away from Him and how we would each choose something that we put before Him at some point in our lives. He knew that there would be wars, death, pain, hatred, and worst of all...wait for it...high school breakups (sarcasm, that's definitely not the worst). Anyway point is, God didn't just create this world and expect it to be perfect, our All-Knowing God knew Adam and Eve would eat the apple and He knew I would push Him away in the past few stressful weeks. He knew every person, place, thing, event, situation, and even our thoughts before they came to be.

• God created each of His children with a purpose. He took every event, situation, and tragedy and planned for something good to come out of it. He has this big plan all laid out for this earth and for every person in it until the day of His returning. He did give us free will, but He still knows exactly what will happen and desperately wants to guide us to what is best.

•  Because Heaven is the only perfect place and Christ is the only perfect person, our world is obviously not going to be perfect, in fact, it is far from it. That means that yes there will be tragedy and disaster and hurt and pain and temptation and evil. All of that is present in this world and will affect each of us at some point. But the good news is...

1. God has already won the battle! He has conquered Satan and has conquered death.
2. The Holy Spirit lives inside of us and gives us the power to overcome all the struggles of this world.
3. Our citizenship is in Heaven! Our short life here is nothin' compared to the eternity we will spend in perfect peace, worshipping the Almighty God in His Kingdom.

So here's what I have taken away from all this knowledge and here's what I hope you will take away from it! The evil of this world is not going to go away, but our God is strong enough to overcome it, and because He lives inside us, we are too! We may not understand why such terrible things happen, but we must hold onto the truth that this world is not our home and a day will come when we are worry-free, joyful, and surrounded by loved ones all worshipping our beautiful savior for the rest of our days. Meanwhile, spend your short, unpromising life here on earth living for Your Creator and serving Him and His people with your whole heart, mind, and soul. When you slip away, accept His forgiveness but don't take it for granted and put forth the effort to fall even more in love with Christ.

And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die. Revelation 12:11

And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires. 2 Peter 1:4

 

 

 

 

 

Our own savior...

We can't do it. We can't be our own savior. In fact when we're walking with God, we can't really do anything on our own. This claim seems obvious, but I'm not gonna just give you the typical "nothing is impossible with God" speech...okay well maybe I am, but don't disregard this post because you think you already know what I'm going to say. The reason I worry you will is that I've done the same thing. Over and over again, I've heard sermons on how nothing is impossible with God and how we need Him to accomplish our goals but I disregarded it because I already knew all of that. Yes, I did already know it but I definitely wasn't acting it out and applying it to my life. So here's the most important point that I want you to get out of this post...

You don't have to do anything alone. Absolutely anything. Humans are weak, sinful, broken people and often lack the strength, courage, and passion to accomplish things on their own. But when we accept Christ into our lives, He lives inside of us. Let that sink in a little bit; the great, mighty, powerful, beautiful, all-knowing Creator of the heavens and earth lives inside of you. And with that piece of truth a light bulb should go off...With the power of the Most Powerful on your side, you can do anything. With the wisdom of the Wisest on your side, you can do anything. With the courage of the Most Courageous on your side, you can do anything. With the beauty of the Most Beautiful on your side, you can do anything. With the Mercy of the Most Merciful on your side, you can do anything. Get the point yet?

So how do we apply this to our everyday lives? With big concepts such as "nothing" (is impossible) and "anything" (can be done with God on our side), it can seem like this lesson applies more to the big scheme of things or just life in general rather than our day-to-day routines. But that couldn't be more false...

Life on earth is tough. No matter how much or little we have, no matter the magnitude of our struggles and burdens, every human suffers. Of course the love of Christ is the absolute most comforting thing when we're truly devastated and nothing is better than our Father's embrace when we're suffering great loss. But we don't just have to ask God to help us get through big things. We don't annoy Him when we ask for help in our small, everyday tasks. In fact, He longs for us to need Him. He takes delight in us when we rely on Him. He finds so much joy in simply revealing His presence to us.

There's definitely fault in only loving God and worshipping Him because of what He can give you. I am by no means telling you it's okay to only love God because of what He can do for you. That kind of selfish behavior is not true faith. But when we truly love God for who He is and we realize how much He loves us and longs to strengthen us, then it is 100% acceptable to turn to Him in any situation. Here are some examples (mostly from personal experience) of simple requests you can ask God...

• to help you get up in the morning
• to be able to tolerate someone that makes it really hard and to show that person love despite how they treat you
• to get through a test
• to help release feelings of envy/inadequacy/self-doubt
• to open your eyes to opportunities to share His love with others
• to be able to focus on Him in the midst of a busy week
• to be a more obedient daughter/son to your parents
• to be able to discipline yourself to commit more time to Him
• to be able to follow where He is guiding you when making a big (or small) decision, rather than what others want you to do
• to be able to have more positive, uplifting thoughts
• to see the beauty in each day
• to find ways to glorify Him in everything you do (yes even school)
• to be able to trust that He will keep His promises

The list could go on and on. And honestly, some of those requests aren't that simple and might be hard for you to ask of God. But I listed them because they are things I used to never think to ask God for help in. I used to have the belief that I on my own had to be right with Him before I was able to truly engage in a relationship with Him. But that's the beautiful thing about a relationship with Him...He meets you exactly where you are and says "come and follow me." No exceptions.

My prayer for myself and anyone reading this is that we will be able to seek God and rely on Him in all we do. That we will thirst for Him so much that the first thing we think to do in any unpleasant situation is ask Him for help. Whether we simply feel ugly because of a zit on our face or are facing a huge tragedy, I pray that we run to Jesus. Our strength, rock, refuge, redeemer, savior, and Prince of Peace. Have a great week! :)

You are of God, dear children, and have overcome them: because greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world. 1 John 4:4

Evolve Weekend

Hey guys! Hope everyone had a rockin' weekend! Mine was beyond amazing, probably one of the best I've ever had! I went to a church event called "Evolve" and basically the whole weekend was devoted to worshipping God, hearing powerful sermons, having a blast with other Christ followers, and discussing/processing what God was telling us and what we were learning with smaller groups. Not only was I prophesied over by a complete stranger (I'll share more about this in a later post), but I learned a lot of other valuble, life-changing/ life-defining things this weekend as well as surrender some burdens and worries to God that I had been holding on to. All-in-all it was a powerful, moving weekend with God's presence feeling extra thick throughout every second. I took a lot away from it and want to share some tid bits of quotes, verses, and my own thoughts from this weekend with you guys with the hope that maybe something will speak to you like it did to me!

"When you take the limits off of God, He'll take the limits off of you."

"Get honest with God and He'll get honest with you"

For no word from God will ever fail. Luke 1:37-38

"Embrace the truth even when it doesn't make sense"
"Embrace the truth even when you can't see it"
"Embrace the truth and the truth will set you free"

"Like the virgin Mary had the son of God planted inside of her despite the fact that she was not perfect, everyone of us has a seed of greatness within them."

"You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great."

We so often get caught up in finding out God's next step for us and His purpose for us but sometimes we just have to stop and remember that our sole purpose is to be His. If we don't know exactly where God wants us to go next, we shouldn't stress and force ourselves to try to hear from God, but instead just focus on becoming more like Him and readying ourselves for whatever He plans to do with us next.

"God will meet you wherever you are and say, 'follow Me'."

 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3:20

"You can choose to let God turn divine moments into defining moments"

"God looks for people who refuse to compromise destiny for a temporary thrill."

"We are salt and light in this world." (What this means is that just a little salt changes the flavor of anything and just a small match lit in a dark room makes all the difference. We as followers of Christ are to step out and unashamedly be the salt and light our school/community/workplace, no matter how uncomfortable or scary that might be. We're never going to make a difference and really truly show people the love of Christ if we waste all of our days just fitting in.)

If he calls you, say, ‘Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.’ 1 Samuel 3:9


Thanks for reading! My prayer is that the Lord spoke to you through something on here and that you will let it drive you this week! Have a lovely week:)