Wonderfully Made.

Hello all! I hope everybody had a wonderful, restful, joyful Thanksgiving break. I am so thankful for each of you who takes the time to read my blog and for all of the encouragement you give me via twitter, facebook, or through comments on my blog! I am also thankful that the Lord knew what He was doing when He prompted me to start a blog because each post I write at least one person tells me it impacted them in some way and that is all I wanted when I started it...for God to speak through me to at least just one person :) Anyway, sorry you have not heard from me in a while but I'm back and cannot wait to share with you!

Eh, well that last sentence was a little bit of a lie. I am not all that excited to write this post because it requires me to be extra vulnerable. But I feel the need to write it because I don't want anybody else believing the same lies that have been dragging me down lately.

Insecurity in the way we look is something that has been around for ages, or at least since mirrors were invented. But I'm pretty darn sure it has never been as bad as it is in this day and age. Now I love instagram and twitter and Pinterest as much as the next girl but I believe they are very much to blame for this issue. That's because these sites allow us to compare every little thing about our real life self to other people's edited, beautified, filtered selves. I'm guilty of this on both sides, which makes me so frustrated that I let it consume so much of me. If there is an instagram effect that will make my skin look better, you bet I'm going to use it. But then I'll look at somebody else's post and feel so defeated that my skin doesn't look like theirs. Don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong with editing your pictures but it's the comparing that I cannot stand.

Why can't we just accept that God made us exactly how He wanted to and that we are his most treasured creation? It'd be easy for me to say that I have accepted this truth and wake up just absolutely loving myself every morning but this is so far from the truth. To be completely honest it is very difficult for me to believe that I am "wonderfully and fearfully made" (Psalm 139:14) when I wake up with a giant zit on my face or I'm having a bad hair day. But I don't think that God expects us to feel beautiful all the time, or at least not physically beautiful.

My obsession over image and physical appearance used to be one of the major things I was a slave to before I gave my heart to Jesus. And sometimes when I drift away from God I let them consume me all over again. For the past few weeks, my walk with God has been hindered because of my obsession over meeting the world's standards of beauty. Thoughts such as "I'd be so much prettier if my nose was shaped differently" or "If only I had better skin I wouldn't have to wear so much makeup and people would consider me naturally beautiful" or "Once my hair is a certain length I'll be satisfied with my appearance" just fill my brain all the time. I am laughing at myself as I'm typing these things and I'm sure you're laughing as you read them (especially if you are a boy) because it really is so silly that these types of thoughts have been consuming me, but I told you I was going to be completely transparent so there it is.

As I said I don't think God expects us to feel just absolutely beautiful all the time. He desperately wants us to see ourselves the way He does but He knows that it won't always be that way, and that's okay. I think what is truly important on days that we don't love the way we look is to remember what actually matters. We are more than just a body or a face covered in clothes and makeup, we have souls and minds and hearts. We have potential and ambition, we each have talents and skills and unique features that make us who we are. We each have a specific role in God's greater plan, a specified position just for us if we are willing to take it. Most importantly, we have a mighty, powerful, creative, wise God who is living within us and walking through every moment with us.

This world makes us believe that life is meant to be all about us and that the way we look, the way we act, the possessions we have, and the things we have accomplished will determine the way we end up. But as Christians, we must remember that we already know the way things will end. We are already citizens of Heaven and when it's all said and done, that is where we will spend all of eternity. Life on earth is not about us, it is about the God we are following. It's our mission to use the tools and gifts HE has given us to make our mark on the world. To let HIS words and HIS truth speak through us. To follow the creative and beautiful path HE laid out for us. To let HIS beauty shine through us.

Knowing this, I can go through life not having to worry about the way I look. My God did create me exactly how He wanted me to be and to Him, I am more beautiful than sunsets and mountains and gardens. I don't always believe this, but it is not the point of life. God did not create me to just be pretty, He created me to be a powerful woman of God, which is essentially the most beautiful thing a girl can be. When I used to hear sermons on beauty, I used to think I was expected to wake up and feel so great about my appearance every single day and I would get so discouraged when I couldn't do it. But what really matters is that I focus on what I'm truly here for. When I remember the God who created me and the plans He has made for me, one little zit or some split ends seem like the dumbest thing to care about.

My hope is that the next time you are feeling down about your appearance,
1. you remember that your extravagantly creative God, who made the bluest oceans and peacocks (my favorite animal) and forests of evergreens and snow-tipped mountains and cute little lady bugs and pretty white cats with one blue eye and one brown eye and whatever else you find beautiful in nature, considers you His most treasured creation. You are wonderfully made and you are His masterpiece.
2. you don't let it consume you. There is so much more to life than the way you look. Some days this is hard to believe, but if you take a step back and look at the bigger picture, it is a ridiculous thing to care about. Our mission is to bring glory to God and to tell as many people we can about HIS beauty and who HE is. That is truly all that matters.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13, 14

"But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

"You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you." Song of Solomon 4:7

These things make up true beauty.

Five of the most beautiful girls I know, inside and out.

My family makes me feel oh so beautiful

One more bit of truth.

Unchanging

Hello everyone! I am so excited to finally have time to sit and write (or type a should say) about all the things God has been teaching me and showing me lately! Instead of my usual long intro, I'm just going to jump right into things! :)

Something I have learned recently is that as believers, we often go through so-called "seasons" in our relationship with God. There will be seasons where we feel very clear about where the Lord is calling us and we are passionate about submitting ourselves to His plan. There will be seasons where we experience immense heartache or suffering and God is the only thing that we have to cling to. There will be seasons where God is just rocking our world with one blessing after another and everything seems to fall into place. Unfortunately, there will also be seasons where we try to do life on our own or cannot seem to turn away from a certain repetitive sin. There will be seasons where we have grown to be content in our relationship and can't seem to find the passion to reach for more. Sometimes these seasons will only last a few days or weeks and sometimes for a year or longer.

The point is that we, as humans whose attitudes and moods are constantly affected by the craziness of this world, waver in our relationships with Christ. But He never ever ever changes. From the time our God created the universe and breathed life into man, to when He sent His only Son to carry the burden of our sin, to this very second, He has remained the same. His power has not strengthened nor weakened over time, His love for us has not increased nor decreased, His creativity and His beauty has not faded. He is the God who was and is and is to come. He knew the plan for this world and for every single person in it before it all came to be. And this is why He is the strongest foundation to build our lives on.

Reading stories like Jonah and the whale, or Noah's Ark, or the parting of the Red Sea, it was always hard for me to comprehend that the same God who worked all of those miracles is the same God who loves me today. Those stories seemed ridiculous to me and I never thought that miracles like that could still happen today. Obviously God is not going to flood the whole earth or part a sea any time soon, but He is working miracles all around us that make it so difficult for us to deny His power. Let me just describe to you a few of the miracles I have gotten to witness recently...

A few weekends ago my church did a three-weekend long series called "Unashamed." In this series, people who had committed their lives to Christ but had not been baptized yet were challenged to get baptized in order to show the world that they are unashamed that their heart belongs to Jesus. The cool thing was that people could get spontaneously baptized along with the people who had already signed up in advance to get baptized. There ended up being 842 people baptized at the three campuses of my church over just two weekends! It was truly a miracle that God was able to speak through our pastor to that many people, and that all of those lives were forever changed in just two weekends. Getting to play the honorary role of a "towel girl," I had the privilege of getting to see people's immediate joy when they came out of the water and I got to personally congratulate all those who took this next step with Christ. The most special part of the experience for me, however, was watching my little brother and parents get spontaneously baptized. They were there to support my sister and I when we got baptized so it was amazing to get to be on the other end and support them. I consider a miracle in itself how much God has moved in my family, individually and as a whole. 

"This messenger was John the Baptist. He was in the wilderness and preached that people should be baptized to show that they had repented of their sins and turned to God to be forgiven. All of Judea, including all the people of Jerusalem, went out to see and hear John. And when they confessed their sins, he baptized them in the Jordan River." Mark 1:4-5 

In the same way that God spoke through John the Baptist to the people of Judea and Jerusalem, convincing them to repent of their sins and get baptized on the spot, God worked the same type of miracle at my church. It's so beautiful that the stuff we read about in the bible is happening today and God is using people like you and me, even if it's just as a towel girl, to play a part in His miracles.

This past Wednesday FCA's annual "Fields of Faith" was held at Texas Tech's Jones AT&T Stadium. Thousands of middle school and high school students from all different churches and schools in Lubbock and the surrounding areas came to worship and to hear students, athletes, and pastors give their testimonies. When the last speaker was finished he called for every student who wanted to commit or recommit his/her  life to Christ to come down on the field. There have been at least a thousand kids receive the gift of salvation that night but the even cooler part was the way the other kids in the stands cheered and even shed tears for their new brothers and sisters in Christ. Thousands being saved in one night is no doubt a miracle, but it doesn't stop there. The fact that a bunch of students from competing schools, belonging to different groups of friends, all involved in different activities could come together and lift praises up to Our Father in a division 1 football stadium is also a beautiful miracle and proof of God's glory.

Whatever season you are going through in your spiritual life, I hope you are encouraged by the fact that God never changes. He never gives up on you and never changes His glorious plans for you, no matter how much you drift from Him. He makes all things work together for your good! No matter how messy your life is, He wants you to play a part in the miracles He is making happen today!

Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. James 1:17

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Hebrews 13:8

Pictures of each of my family members being baptized

My sweet family

My friend, Georgia Beth, also got baptized! So happy for her :)

All the kids who were saved at Fields of Faith

My friends and I at Fields of Faith

Choose Truth!

Hello all! Over the past few weeks, I've been praying for guidance on what to post about next and was, honestly, just kind of hoping for God to reveal to me something my readers needed to hear. Instead, He gave me a huge reality check and shook my brain. I felt convicted and challenged and definitely humbled so now I would like to share about it with y'all!

This is my best attempt to paraphrase what The Lord was trying to tell me: "Mary Catherine, you cannot hold onto worldly thoughts and desires any longer. This world tells you the complete opposite of what I tell you. Worldly thinking and heavenly thinking cannot coexist."

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

Ever since my senior year started, I've been trying so hard to live a life based on worldly desires and to satisfy opinions of worldly people while at the same time trying to seek out what God wants of me and to please Him. Let me tell you...it's exhausting. Absolutely exhausting. Don't try it. What I've discovered through this is that this broken, fallen world is the complete opposite of the Kingdom of God. It sounds silly saying that I didn't realize that until now; it's such an obvious fact told to us over and over again. But it's not so much that I didn't know it to be true, it's that I didn't live in that truth.

I'd like to take this post to compare some of the lies that the world tells us to the truth that God has shown us over and over since the beginning of time.

What the world tells us:

• Titles, labels, status, and stereotypes matter. Try to be someone who impresses people and who people feel cool to be around.

• If you cannot please the people around you, you are doing something wrong.

• You must do everything you can to try and find someone who will love you and make feel important. Life will be better with a significant other to lean on. If you cannot find one, lower your standards.

• Beauty is a clear face. Beauty is a cute, skinny body. Beauty is pretty long hair. Beauty is a cute nose, good smile, tan skin....(I could go on forever). Beauty is important, people must not see your flaws.

• Don't ask for help. Don't be vulnerable. You cannot trust people and you cannot look weak. You must rely on yourself to keep it all together.

• You have your whole life to figure things out. If you're young, make mistakes and don't worry if you feel like you're doing the wrong thing...you have so much time to do the right thing when you're older.

• Do whatever you can to make yourself happy. Your happiness is what matters most and if that means the expense of others' happiness, it's worth it.

• Gossiping is normal. It's okay to talk about people who you believe aren't as good as you or seem to make mistakes more than you.

What God tells us:

• You are His child. That is the only title that matters. All other titles and statuses that seem to be important now will fade and God's children will be exalted.

"But many who are the greatest now will be least important then, and those who seem least important now will be the greatest then." Matthew 19:30

• He loves everything about you and is completely pleased with who you are, after all He made you. Instead of exhausting yourself trying to please people whose attitudes and opinions are constantly changing, spend time doing what is pleasing to God whose plans for you are solid and unchanging. 

"Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant." Galatians 1:10

• An intimate relationship with your Creator is the most precious, fulfilling thing. One day He will provide someone who will love you in the best way a human could, but no human love will bring the satisfaction God can. Singleness is a gift. Spend time falling in love with Him. 

"Your unfailing love is better to me than life itself; how I praise you! I will honor you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer. You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy." Psalm 63:3-5

• Beauty is exactly how God made you. A beautiful person is one whose heart belongs to God. That is the beauty that lasts and that is the beauty that matters.

"You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you." Song of Solomon 4:7

"But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:4

• We must surround ourselves with people we can lean on and we must reveal to them our struggles and our flaws. We are not designed to do life alone and we are not designed to be invincible. Humans are weak and our lives are messy; the only way to survive is to let God speak to us and comfort us not only through our relationship with Him but through our relationship with others.

"As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend." Proverbs 27:17

• We are not promised another day. We cannot be selfish and put God on the back-burner for when we are older so we can have "fun" and make mistakes now. We must surrender each and every day to Him, not just the future.

"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, 'If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.'” James 4:14, 15

• Loving on others and serving them will bring you more joy than you could imagine. God's two greatest commandments are to love Him and love others...loving yourself isn't part of the equation.

"We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters." 1 John 3:16

• We tend to gossip when we are insecure about ourselves. But slandering our brothers and sister breaks God's heart, because we are insulting His precious creations. Everyone is equal in His eyes and it is not our job to judge those around us. Focus on your own shortcomings and love others in spite of theirs.

"Does anyone want to live a life that is long and prosperous? Then keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies!" Psalm 12, 13

These are just a few examples of the lies the world tries to tell us. I could give you more, but my guess is that you have probably picked up on the fact that most everything the world tells us is completely the opposite of what The Lord tells us. The difference is that the word of God is truth and this truth is the way to a fulfilling life. I knew a lot of these things before my reality check, but selfishly, I caved into the world believing that it could bring me more joy than living righteously could. Now I have made the choice to live in the Truth. I'm going to stumble and I'm going to stray, but I have faith that my God will pull me right back like He always has. I pray that you will desire to live in the Truth and will find tremendous joy in doing so. Thanks for reading. God bless you all :)

"And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?" Matthew 16:26

Don't forget

Hello blog readers! It's been quite a while since I've posted and I'm sorry for that but I'm hoping to start posting more frequently again! When I first started this blog I posted once or twice a week and I'd love for it to be that way again. My desire to be more consistent in my posting is a perfect comparison to what this post is about...fading passion, becoming lukewarm, and growing content.

I'm going to be honest, I can be so forgetful in my walk with Christ. I forget the promises He's made me. I forget the prayers He's answered. I forget the commands He's given me and the way He has blessed me when I obeyed. I forget the miracles He's performed that I've gotten to witness or hear about. I forget that He never holds grudges and always always looks on me with love. And most of all, I forget that chasing after Him and letting Him rule my life is the most fulfilling thing I could ever choose to do.

For the past week or so I've felt really discouraged in my walk. I've found it hard to sit down and have quiet time and really be genuine about it. I think the main reason for that is my inability to shake away this lie that the devil keeps putting in my head. I've constantly thought to myself, "You will never again be as passionate about your savior as when you were when you first gave yourself to Him." While it is true that every new follower is so excited and on fire at first, it's completely false that it can't stay that way. Sure there will be times when we grow lukewarm and don't fully reach out to God, but in general if we're pursuing Him we are meant to fall more and more in love with Him as we go through life with Him.

I've discovered that the reason I've felt this way is because I seem to let all of the times He's revealed Himself to me and covered me in love slip my memory way too often. He's always in love with me and never stops wanting me, but sometimes I don't want to accept that love simply because I forget how great it is and how much it is unlike earthly love. When I realized how much I'd forgotten and how that has affected the way I've been living my life, I decided to do something about it. I wanted to be just as passionate as I was when I first discovered the truth about Jesus and I wanted that passion to grow stronger than ever before.

I have found that yhe best ways to be reminded of how powerful and wonderful our God is are as follows:

• Simply ask Him in prayer to help you to accept His love and to increase your capacity to obey Him. The first time I heard the idea that we should ask God to help us love Him I thought it was so silly but really it isn't. More than anyone, He understands how hard it is for us on earth to grasp the idea of a love so great but He wants so badly to help us grasp it.
• Read His word. Read stories of the miracles Jesus performed while He walked the earth. Read in Genesis about the beginning of creation. Maybe you've read about these things countless times, but I've found that depending on where you are in your walk, scripture can mean something totally different to you and speak to you in new ways no matter how much you've read it.
• If you already write your prayers in a journal, go back and read old ones. Be reminded of the prayers He's answered and the promises He's kept. Or be reminded of certain times when you were especially passionate about Him. If you don't keep a journal, start one so you can keep track of your prayers and write down scripture that touches you or certain ways you saw God move. Do whatever you want with it really, all I know is that it is definitely worth it.
• Ask others about their walk! Have them share with you the ways they've seen God move and be encouraged by how much He loves each of His sons and daughters!
• Get an accountability partner or mentor to keep you on track and always have people who are praying for your walk!

I hope all of you feel God's immense love for you as you go throughout your week! Thanks for reading.

Silence

...can be scary. Terrifying actually. When nothing else is calling for our attention, we are forced to face ourselves. When the TV is turned off, the computer shut down, and the social networks put aside we have nothing to distract us from our own thoughts. And for that reason we often stay up late into the night watching or reading or scrolling or posting and check our phone first thing when we wake up. This is especially true when something heart-breaking or tragic is going on in our lives, because we will do anything to keep that thing from occupying our mind. While sometimes it's nice to have things that keep us from thinking too much, putting all of the distractions aside and facing your problems, sins, and emotions is crucial to a healthy heart and life.

First off I want to clarify something. Nothing I post is to brag or to say "I have mastered this lesson so now you should too." Usually everything I post is something I constantly struggle with and I use this blog to be held accountable and to let others know that they aren't alone in their struggles.

This is something I've felt convicted of for a long time but didn't want to come to terms with until just recently. I get so wrapped up in making sure I'm constantly doing something in order to keep my mind off of my problems or my weaknesses. 

Social networks are probably the biggest factor in this problem. With Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and now Vine in the picture, I could scroll and scroll for hours. This scrolling often leads to comparison. Thoughts such as "why can't I go on vacations like that?" and "why does their night look so much more fun than mine?" and "how does their hair always look flawless?" begin to consume my mind and all of the sudden I'm spending so much time looking at things that make me feel low about myself instead of soaking up God's word and hearing His thoughts about me.

God never wants us to think someone else is better than us or more loved than us. He gets oh so jealous when we choose to spend our time comparing our lives to others and believing the lies the world and the enemy are trying to tell us. He doesn't want that for us. He longs for us to sit down and devote time to Him. He wants us to allow His thoughts on us to define our lives. He wants to shower us in blessings and to see us be who He created us to be. It's silly to sit and spend time comparing our lives to what we see on social networks anyway. People only post the highlights of their lives but we compare every part of our lives to what we see. Spending time doing this will only result in disappointment and self-pity. But spending time talking to God and reading about His goodness will renew our hope and fill us with joy. The more time we spend hangin out with Our Father, the closer we'll get to Him, just like a relationship with an earthly father (but better, of course). The more time we spend in intimate conversation with our bridegroom, the more we will fall in love with Him, just like a relationship with an earthly groom (but also much better).

A lack of quiet time hinders us from acheiving our full spiritual potential and from developing an intimate, whole-hearted relationship with Our King. My prayer is that this week you will put down the technology, shut off the TV, and cut out some time to spend with Jesus. I promise you will not regret it!

After sending the people away, he went up a hill by himself to pray. When evening came, Jesus was there alone. Matthew 14:23

At that time Jesus went up a hill to pray and spent the whole night there praying to God. Luke 6:12

(even Jesus knew he needed his quiet time)

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Matthew 5:6

Picture I took while having my quiet time outside the other day. Just a tiny glimpse of God's beauty :)

A Small Life

Good evening! Hope everyone is doing well. It's been far too long since I've blogged and I wish I had a valid excuse but all I have to blame for my lack of blogging is homework and laziness. Anyway, I've had a recent revelation that I thought I would share with you all.

The other night I was watching an adorable 90's movie, You've Got Mail. While I was soaking up the cuteness of it, something the main character said caught my attention. The words of the petite blond children's book store owner were this:

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?"

What she said reminded me a lot of myself. Don't get me wrong; I absolutely love my life and everybody in it but I've realized that I could be living, well, bigger. I go about my daily routine without ever really expecting anything extraordinary to happen, just being my happy-go-lucky self, trying my best to show everyone kindness, but naturally messing up along the way. I tell myself I want to make a mark on the world but I never truly put much effort in and I don't really know what kind of mark I want to make. Luckily, I'm still very young and have time to figure it out but in the mean time, I'd like to start living bigger. Hopefully I will live to an old age, but it could be any day that the Lord could take me home and I don't want to waste any time living in my comfort zone.

So much of what we do seems to come back to a single, worldly goal: to impress others. With social media sites out the wazoo, we often spend so much time trying to make our life look awesome from the outside and so little time actually living. I admit that I do this myself and I don't post this to point fingers, but instead as a commitment to drop this habit of mine. Of course, it's great to capture fun, happy, and important moments and share them with friends, but that shouldn't distract us from truly living. We should get out and enjoy things, places, and people because we want to...not because it'll make our lives look more exciting to others!

So with my senior year on the way, college around the corner, and the start of life on my own in sight, this lesson has really shaken my brain. I've realized that I don't want to do things just to get good pictures out of it. I don't want to go somewhere just for the glamour of it. I don't wanna go a certain direction in life just to impress those around me. I want to go somewhere to experience, to feel, to grow, to challenge myself, to find myself, and to get the most out of my short life on earth. If I can get that staying right in the place I am then that's what I'll do, but if I feel called to step out of my comfort zone and break free from the security and familiarity of my home town then I'll pray for bravery to do that and for guidance to go where I'm supposed to go.

As for short term ways to live a bigger, more fulfilling life here are things I hope to do:

• stop being so shy and meet new people...learn stories, hear testimonies, establish relationships, share my own thoughts
• try new things...food, activities, outfits...anything to change it up!
• travel whenever I get the chance, whether I need a passport or only a full tank of gas and some chex mix...travelling is good for the soul.
• remind those I love how grateful I am for them and why I love them.
• read more books...also good for the soul.
• step away from technology every now and then

Thank you for reading, God bless you....now turn off your phone/laptop and go live :)

How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:14-15

"Chosen Bride"

Good evening! If any of you follow me on instagram you saw my post of the short version of this poem last night, but here is the extended, edited version! It's just an outpouring of my heart and a reflection of all God has done for me...and it just so happens to rhyme. Enjoy and have a blessed evening :)

I've got so much more to learn
And so much more to do
But tonight I'm simply grateful
My heart belongs to You.

My heart was worn and weary
Before I let you in.
I'll never forget that precious night
When it would all begin.

All glory and honor belongs to You
Who opened up my eyes.
I am no more a prisoner
to this earth and all its lies.

No longer am I defined
by the mirror or others' thoughts.
Although I pushed and pushed you out,
it was me You persistently sought.

Now that I'm captivated
and have surrendered to You my soul,
in Your greater plan, Oh God,
I'd be honored to play a role.

I've come to learn that life with You
outweighs all other paths.
So away from sin I will run
and towards Your love so vast.

I fail You and I cave in
To the temptations of this earth.
I get wrapped up in past mistakes
I forget all that I'm worth.

But your mercy never changes.
Your love remains Divine.
There's nothing I would rather be,
Sweet Jesus, than your chosen bride.

The rough draft