Greater is He.: August 2014

Hello blog readers! It's been quite some time since I've posted on here (as it usually is between posts) but I am back and am particularly excited to write this post about an experience near and dear to my heart: the three weeks I spent on Work Crew for a YoungLife camp called Crooked Creek. I would have liked to have written this sooner, seeing as I've been back from work crew for three weeks now but with starting college and trying to spend time with my loved ones since getting back home, this is the first time I've gotten to sit down and write it. I know it might seem like this post would only be interesting to somebody who was at Crooked Creek or has done work crew or YoungLife, but I assure you that anyone who enjoys hearing about how great our God is will wanna read this! Trying to write this without getting too emotional is going to be difficult, but I'll give it a shot.

I really don't even know where to begin so I guess I will just go chronologically. I'm going to be honest, the first few days sucked. Not gonna sugar coat it or anything...they were tough. My job was called a "tawashie" which meant that every day starting from 8:30am until about 4pm I was scrubbing showers and toilets (yes, that includes urinals), cleaning cabins, pulling hair out of drains, wiping down windows, mirrors, and counters, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, restocking toilet paper and paper towels, pulling gum out of the carpets, taking out the trash, and whatever else needed to be cleaned on the camp grounds. I don't say all those things for you to feel bad for me because it was so worth it and I actually ended up getting satisfaction out of doing all those jobs...I just want to paint a picture to you of why it was so difficult for me the first few days. Besides all the hard work there were multiple other reasons why I struggled so much at first, but God taught me so much through each obstacle and that's what I want to share with y'all...

1. I honestly didn't go into it with the right mind set. All I thought about before work crew was what I could get out of it myself, not what I could do for God and for the campers. I wanted my relationship with God to grow, I wanted to do tons of fun things, I wanted to make lots of friends, and I wanted to have cool stories I could go back and tell people. All of those things definitely happened but they were not the reason God brought me there. He brought me there to serve Him and help His kingdom grow. The campers who come to YoungLife camp are supposed to experience what Heaven could be like one day. Our job as a work crew is to serve them wholeheartedly and proclaim the Gospel through our daily jobs. Those campers' clean cabins and bathrooms might not have been the direct reason they accepted Christ, but it played a role in giving them the best week possible and making sure there was nothing to distract them during their cabin time (which is where they had in depth conversations about their relationships with God with their YoungLife leaders.)

2. I was super homesick because I'm so attached to my family and had never been away from them for more than a week. It was hard knowing they were having fun on vacation without me while I was working my butt off. However, my time away from them taught me to be more thankful for them and appreciative of the time I spend with them. It also taught me that God alone can bring me comfort and is my Heavenly Father who will always protect me and provide for me. As much as I love my family, I can't look to them instead of Jesus for love and comfort.

3. I had never had a job or done chores before. I know I sound super spoiled saying that but it's just that my parents are so awesome and have always provided for me so that I could focus on my school work and activities. I didn't realize how much I took that for granted until I had to do things for myself. I also have a lot more respect for people who do have jobs and do chores all the time and realized that I should start doing those things instead of relying on my parents to do and pay for everything for me.

4. I had a lot of trouble making friends and opening up to people at first so I felt kind of lonely. I was jealous of and intimidated by the girls who were so outgoing and funny right off the bat because I wish I was that way. I was letting my insecurities stop me from making true friendships and leaning on the community around me to lift me up but once I trusted God and began to be myself those same girls that I was jealous of became my best friends. I couldn't have gotten through the long, tough days without the joy and laughter and encouragement the friends I made brought me. They taught me what true community is and what I wanted to find when I went off to college.

5. I was believing the lie that I don't have much to offer God and that since I wasn't doing so great at my job from the start, I was a failure and shouldn't have signed up to be there. Silly me forgot that when God calls us to do something, He will sustain us and equip us to do it. Luckily my work crew bosses showed me a lot of grace when I would mess up and showed me that they believed in me. I realized that by myself, I could not have done a good job at all and honestly was a pretty sucky tawashie but the Holy Spirit within me gave me the strength and energy I needed to work hard and have a good attitude and do the best job I could. At the end of the session my boss told me she was so proud of me and that I improved so much but I knew it had nothing to do with myself and everything to do with God who was working through me.

Like I said, the first few days were tough but they soon got so much better. Once I realized that I was there to serve God and that He picked me to be there and play a part in His plan to bring hundreds of campers to Christ, I was incredibly humbled and my outlook totally changed. I began to be excited to wake up every morning and serve Him with people I loved so much. It was thrilling to be out of my comfort zone of Lubbock, Texas and be in a beautiful place with so many great people who had so many different stories. I loved getting to be myself with them and laugh and dance and cry and work and worship (sometimes terribly because a lot of us including myself were tone deaf) and break rules and just share our hearts with each other. I never experienced anything more beautiful or incredible in my life.

But just as things were going great, I called home one night after the first week had passed and found out that my sweet dog passed away. It was the most unexpected thing considering that she was only 5 years old and was happy and healthy when I left for work crew. Anyone who knows me knows how attached I was to Janet and how special she was to me, but it was hard because the people I was with on work crew didn't understand that and didn't even know her. I spent the whole next day feeling sorry for myself and being so angry that it had to happen while I was at camp; I really just wanted to go home and cry in my mom's arms (pathetic, I know). But of course, God had a plan and drew me closer to Him in that difficult time. While I was vacuuming the next day considering going home to where people understood my pain, I heard God speak to me. He said "MC, you cannot just love me whenever it's easy. I understand your pain more than anyone and want to comfort you." I immediately realized that I shouldn't have been so mad at Him and shouldn't have considered abandoning His plan for me. Now I'm so thankful I was there when it happened so my work and all the joyful people around me could take my mind off the pain and make the grieving process so much easier.

There's so much more I'd love to share but those are the main things God taught me while I was there. I hope you enjoyed reading about my experience but if you got nothing out of this post please get this: nothing will ever make you feel more alive than living a life serving God because that is why you and me and everyone else in the world was created. No matter what hardships or tragedies come your way or no matter how great life is, living for yourself just isn't as awesome as living for God could be! He is the best Father and companion you could find and will always take care of you and bless you if you just surrender yourself to Him. Thanks for reading peeps, love and blessings to each of you. :)