First off, Happy New Year!!! I decided not to make any resolutions, not because I'm hipster or anything, just because when I've tried before I either just picked something that I knew would be pretty easy for me to do or something way too challenging that I gave up after a week.
Last year, however, I made a commitment to develop a much more intimate, stable relationship with God and I would say I succeeded....well, scratch that...I didn't succeed, God did. The beginning of the year started off great and that was probably because I had no real struggles. I was just happy with life; therefore, happy with God for blessing me so I spent a lot of time with Him. But when things got tough, I turned from Him and tried to find my happiness in things of this world. Despite having an empty feeling in my heart, I convinced myself I was happy. But one night I reached my breaking point, cried out to God and He did what He had to do. After a few weeks of pain and heartache and being angry at God, I realized that He broke me because I asked Him to. I asked Him to draw me back to Him and He listened, giving me more than I could ever dream of. The last few months of 2012 were the best few month of my life...not because of my own doing, but because of what God did for me. I finally understood that absolutely nothing is better than devoting your whole heart, soul, mind and life to Christ. And now when I think back to last year when I made a commitment to myself to grow closer to God than ever before, I imagine God smiling and thinking, "my darling, you have no idea what's to come."
So in 2012 I truly committed my life to Christ, learned to find my fulfillment and identity in Him, began to listen to Him, and was extremely blessed with many new people and opportunities. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a very broken human with a multitude of flaws and shortcomings. The only difference is that now I truly know God and am made whole through Him. Despite the fact that there was definitely hardship and my year was far from perfect, I consider it the best year of my life because my heart is now in God's hands.
2012 was awesome...but where do I go from here? Now that I know God and have let Him take over my life, how can I follow Him more? How can I grow even deeper in Him? How can I give back to Him? I hate to admit this, but I really have no clue.
My YoungLife leader encouraged us to all pick a word to describe how we want our upcoming year to be. After some thought and prayer, I chose "surrender." I have no idea what God's next steps are for me and that frustrates me. But whatever the future holds, I surrender to His plan. I surrender my heart and ask that He fill it with Himself so I can desire nothing but Him. I surrender my mind so that I can have spirit-filled thoughts rather than negative, doubtful ones. I surrender my body so that I can act more like Jesus and walk with Him daily. I surrender my own plans so that I can whole-heartedly follow His.
I engourage you all to pick a word or phrase to describe how you want your year to go. Or maybe even just pick a new one each week. Reflect on what it really means to you and why God might have put it on your heart! My prayer is that this year will take you to new heights in your walk with God and that I can be a part of it! Thanks for reading:)
"My son, give me your heart. May your eyes take delight in following my ways." Proverbs 23:26
"The man answered, ‘You must love The Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind." Luke 10:27
After my baptism. Glory to God in the highest!
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